Heriger, bishop civitatis Mainz,
once met a prophet who had been carried
bodily to hell, so the prophet said
among the many things he reported
he mentioned that hell was all surrounded
by a thick forest, very dense
Heriger laughed. I shall, he answered,
send my swineherd there with some extremely
skinny pigs.
Then the liar said: I was taken up
up to heaven too. I saw Christ up there
happily seated and feeding his face.
And John the Baptist, he was cupbearer
circulating wine (which was top shelf)
in fancy goblets to all the saints
...
Heriger said: Wow. But come, tell me how
God in heaven chose to honor you? Where
were you seated? What did you eat?
The prophet answered: Me? O I just sat
off in a corner chewing a piece of lung
which I stole from one of the cooks.
Heriger had him bound, tied to a post
and thrashed with broomsticks
whilst he spoke to him harshly
addressing the liar in the following terms:
Should Christ hereafter
invite you to eat
at his high table,
do not then repay
his kindness with such
avoidance and thievery.
(from 'Heriger, Urbis Maguntiensis' 10th c.)
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